Journal on my weight loss journey

I was listening to @fatdag’s WhysAdvice #94 this morning (see FatDag.com). There were several subjects, one being what to say when people tell you you’ve lost enough and you should stop. This hasn’t happened to me, but people HAVE asked if I’m losing too fast. I’ve always said, “I’m losing at 2 pounds a week, and that’s right on target.” But it has had an effect on my thinking and made me question my rate of loss. Especially as I’m having loose skin, much more than when I lost this same weight 17 years ago. 

So this past week, I set my tracker to “maintain,” with the idea of giving my body time to adjust. My WI was this morning, and I gained 1.4 lbs, which is pretty much maintaining. I’m not upset at the results. But I didn’t like the mental effect on me. 

Giving myself a few more points was like opening the doors to a giant party. “Whee! I can relax! I can have this, and this, and this!” And that was difficult to fight against. I also felt hungry a lot. I started thinking a lot more about cake frosting. 

For this week I’ve lowered my target partway, just giving myself 2 extra points per day. I want to shift back to losing but I only want to lose 1 pound per week, not two. 

I’m still trying to increase activity, mostly in order to shape my body and get some muscles under that loose skin. I’m also trying to relax about the loose skin. As a WW Connector said to me a while ago, you have to compare the aesthetics of weight loss with the health benefits—heart health, cardiovascular strength, less pressure on the joints, etc.—and those are what really matter. 

Another topic fatdag discussed in his podcast was finding a deeper “why.” I think that’s something I need to work on, too. 

Going Wheatless

This is my second week of wheatlessness. I decided to experiment with it, partly in solidarity with some friends doing the Wheat Belly diet, and partly out of curiosity and the need to mix it up.

It’s been interesting. Even though I haven’t been totally strict, I can sense differences in my appetite and satiety level. This past Sunday I decided to eat wheat again and tried eating cereal. I only made it 3 bites before I felt really bloated. Further experiments reveal that a bite of naan or pita doesn’t affect me the same way—probably not as much fiber.

Last week, the limited possibilities helped me eat fewer Points each day, so that for the first time this calendar year I was actually within my appropriate range. But then it didn’t result in a weight loss and my appetite came back.

I know I’m going to switch back to wheat at some point—I love pizza too much, plus I adhere to Weight Watchers’ belief that there are no “bad” foods—but right now I’m still intrigued by the changes.

What I’m really hoping to get out of this is a re-conception of what constitutes a meal. Sometimes now my meal will be carrots, hummus, and a few crackers. Or French fries and peanut butter on seed crackers. I keep falling into the habit of trying to replace wheat products with gluten-free substitutes, but this isn’t actually a good idea, I think. It’s nice when I have a super craving for toast to have my ridiculously pricey bread on hand, but it can lead to the same patterns of eating as before. I want to be more creative and simple about my meals, more dependent upon straight-forward fruits and veggies, foods with less processing, fewer calories, and more nutrition.

Aqua Zumba

I've decided that I need some variety in my exercise, and I'm still searching for exercise I can commit to. This week I tried Aqua Zumba.

It's a lot like regular Zumba, which I tried a couple of months ago, except that the movements are in the water and they're more limited. There are still vibrant music and an excited instructor doing all the movements with you. Cindy's directions for changing the motion were clear in almost every instance. Sometimes if we were facing away she would clap to let us know something was going to switch. I had to concentrate hard and I had to modify some of the movements, but I was able to keep up.

One disappointment is that it wasn't as cardio intense as I had hoped. It definitely was for Cindy--she was really sweating. My heart rate didn't get as high as I hoped and I was a little cold throughout. This would have been different, I'm sure, if I had been able to do as many of the jumps and put as much intensity into the movements.

My ankles are the real trouble here. They're too weak, and I keep injuring them. Yesterday I went to physical therapy and was put through quite a workout on my balance, ankle strength, and quads. I have hopes for improvement. It would be fun to feel strong at Aqua Zumba and really jump around.

Weight gain

Yesterday I filled out a wellness check-list for my health insurance, and I claimed that this year I plan to lose weight and exercise more.

My next thought was, how will I do this? By following Weight Watchers, of course. Weight Watchers is tried and true. It works. But can I commit to it?

In the midst of this thought, I realized that I know a LOT about weight loss and health. I have some relevant experience in that area, too. But I know little about weight gain, even though more of my experience has been in that area. Of course, I know that people gain weight when they consume more than they expend, but I don't know the little details of how those calories add up. I don't know how I gain weight. I suppose it's because, when I'm gaining, I'm not paying attention. I don't track when I'm gaining. This leads to some confusion on my part about how it happens.

Logically, the first step in my better health is to track. But this is exactly what I am resisting about Weight Watchers right now. I may have to try the Simply Filling (core) method--but that is difficult when I don't cook.

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